Friday, February 26, 2016

Gossip and trash talk

WARNING: I drop the B-bomb in this blog a few times, so beware! Usually, my blog is family-friendly, but today, it's not!

I don't know about you guys, my OH MY GOD is so HARD to not trash-talk when you're hurt and frustrated!

I hate it when I find myself gossiping and trash-talking. I'm an adult, I'm not in high school any longer, so I've figured out that I don't have to do it. And there's a lot more respect for you when you don't. Maybe it comes with age. I don't like who I am when I recognize that I'm being that much of a bitch that I'm trash talking and fueling the fires of disagreements. I strive for peace, so this is why I get so mad at myself when I realize I'm doing it. Man, I hate doing it!

Some people deserve to be gossiped about, it's true. They've harmed you when you're vulnerable to them, and taken a perverse glee in causing you pain. And it's quite satisfying to unload on another person about how you've been wronged by someone else. It's quite satisfying to think that you're encouraging another person to take up arms against someone that hasn't wronged them personally, but they have you and it a test of your friendship. But really, is it making things easier for you? I promise you, it's not. And personally, I hate it when gangs of pretty girls band together (they're called #squads by the young people, I guess I'm old) and attack a single girl all by her lonesome. Sorry, TSwifty, this is why your #squad makes me nervous!

I've found that the best anecdote to gossip is to pretend the person talking about you doesn't exist and never harmed you, but keep them at a distance. Sure, it hurt when they laughed at you and made other people hate you, but that just means they're weak and wimpy. It doesn't make you any better to do it right back. But at the same time, that is SO not easy, right? I think we can all agree that the person gossiping about you is just a lowly, jealous, basic person. YOU my friend, are NOT. People who gossip all the time about banal things are insecure people looking to find the flaws in others. They want to make people around them more insecure and miserable than they already are. They think it'll elevate them. But doing those kinds of things doesn't bring you up. It just burrows you down into the muck and slime of jealousy. I've also found that when you give that mean person that hurt you your energy to the point that you're gossiping, you're allow them power over you, admitting you are insecure to them. I try to think of it as, "Why would you let someone so lowly and toxic reign over your life?" Easier said than done. Y'all, it's SO HARD sometimes, no kidding! I'm not going to pretend I don't struggle with it!

I wish I had had these kinds of skills in high school. The gossip in high school was TERRIBLE for me (at least I remember it being that way). It seems to be the same across the board for people from all over the place, not just my high school. For me, it felt like a defense mechanism when I found out (or heard) someone was talking smack about me (sometimes, it was just a third party trying to create drama for their own amusement, but I didn't catch on since I was really naive and bit gullible back then). Trust me, the third-party thing? It blows. It took me until just recently to figure out that some people just want to stir the pot, and this is why you (theoretically) shouldn't gossip in return. You could be trash-talking about an innocent person and hurting them.

Yo, it is so hard to escape it. I've done some community theatre, and sometimes, people get involved in it that want nothing more than to divide and conquer, and that means talking trash because they feel the need to manipulate people. Why manipulate people? It's insecurity on their part. I've had people say nasty things about me, and it sucks. Wow, does it suck! But I've realized that acknowledging it and trying to get back at them makes things tougher for me, and drags me in. Lucky for me, I've been called "aloof" a time or two in the theatre, but I kind of take that as a positive because...
a·loof :
adjectivenot friendly or forthcoming; cool and distant.
"they were courteous but faintly aloof"

"part of their strategy is to remain aloof during the first stages of negotiation"
conspicuously uninvolved and uninterested, typically through distaste.
"he stayed aloof from the bickering"
For me? This is a great thing. It means I'm outside the drama and BS and select who I want to bring into my private life. Honestly, I hope y'all can get to that point, too. It's really nice when you find yourself above all that crap and can associate with people that don't thrive on it. Cool things happen when you're not around it and surround yourself with good people. Gossip is way too complicated to live with and a complete waste of your life and time!

There are better things to talk about, like ideas and things that you are passionate about, your dreams and your hopes. This is something I have to remind myself, since I'm perfectly imperfect (God knows I'm far from perfect) and proud of it.

I really think that they are three types of people in this world that can be identified by what they talk about:
  1. Those who gossip about other people
  2. Those who talk about ideas
  3. Those who talk about making their ideas happen

So... I just want to be person #3. That's my goal in life, to be as far away from #1 as possible. I hope it's yours, too.


Thursday, February 25, 2016

Winter by Marissa Meyer review - the Lunar Chronicles

Rating: 5 stars

Link on Goodreads

Buy on Amazon or Barnes & Nobles

Visit Marissa Meyer's website!

Fairy Tales? Yes! Scary, evil queen? Yes! Action! Adventure! Scifi! All yes!

I've read all four books and the little mini-story Fairest that gives more of Levanna's story, so when I got to this book, it made more sense.

My only complaint (that's not even enough to really complain about) is that the book was huge. It got the hard copy edition ASAP when it first came out, and I tried to carry it around at all times. Let me tell you, getting that book out of my computer bag was a pain, so I wasn't able to just pick it up and read it during a break a work. Notice I started it on November 16th and I'm just now finishing ti Feburary 25? Yeah. I thought the audiobook would be better, but it was over 23 hours along. My attention span is not that great, I'll be honest. So, I figured it out: I put the overdrive audiobook player on 1.25x speed, and it went along much faster. Problem solved! See, I told you it wasn't worth taking a star off!

I thought this books was really well-done when it came to the pacing. I squee'd a few times over Thorne, Kai, Wolf, and Jacin, and Iko made me laugh on several occasions! I loved the little fairy tale Easter eggs Meyer wove in and the world she created on Luna that hadn't really been explored before. And I read the acknowledgements in the end of the book, and it made me cry, of course!

All in all, don't miss this book, let alone series. I'm off to buy Stars Above, now!

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Abandoned Tour Stop for Elisa Dane!

Hey, y'all!

Spent a weekend in Mexico, and I just got back Monday night after a very short (but fun) tropical vacation! I'm probably going to picspam my Instagram account later today, so keep tuned! I got in kind of late due to rain delays, but I swore I'd put up a review of Elisa Dane's latest stand-alone book. SOO good! You've got to read it for yourself, people! I also got to interview Elisa Dane, she was sweet enough to answer to my questions after my review! And if you can't afford to buy her book right now, you can enter the rafflecopter contest to win a copy, links at the bottom!

Tierra Owens is a girl down on her luck and just trying to make it through the high school until she can audition for NYCDA. She has a terrible relationship with a verbally and psychologically abusive mother who's been so unloving and hateful wit her that she believes she's trash and the reason why Mom's life was ruined. Luckily, she's got a best friend named Kaylee, whose family adores her. In a shocking moment, the first and only boy she ever loved years ago, Mattie Forrester, reappears in her life. Why did Mattie leave without trying to contact her? Tierra believed it's because she's trash and completely worthless. And then suddenly, her mother leaves, not caring what happens to Tierra. Tierra must find her self-worth as her survival skills are put to the test.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

In the After book blitz and giveaway!

In the After
Elisa Dane
Published by: Swoon Romance
Publication date: February 2nd 2016
Genres: Contemporary, Romance, Young Adult
Sadie Reynolds is a liar with secrets. At school, she’s part of the popular crowd known as AE, despite being broken inside. She hides it well. She has to. The slightest bit of imperfection will land her in the same shoes as her Geeky neighbor named Ian.
Ian and his only friend are the object of Sadie’s friends’ ridicule, ire, and entertainment. The AE rule the school with intimidation and retribution against anyone who would dare question their supremacy.
Sadie steers clear of most of it, terrified someone will find out her secret. She isn’t the least bit perfect. In fact, she suffers from PTSD stemming from the murder of her mother right before her eyes when she was a child. She can barely cope from day-to-day, hiding her truth and trying to fit in. But she knows it’s only a matter of time.
Hayden is a “Waverly,” a kid with the misfortune of living in the small farming town of Waverly that borders the very affluent Lexington Parrish. The AE doesn’t mix with “Waverlies.” Ever.
Desperate to get away from her oppressive friends, Sadie crashes into Hayden at a bonfire and the attraction that sparks between them is nothing short of electric. But Hayden’s an outsider and when things heat up, Sadie will be forced to choose between her friends and her new boyfriend.
Only Queen Bee Britt isn’t having it. She will not allow Sadie to cross her. Sadie can either do what Britt wants her to do or she will reveal Sadie for the PTSD freak that she is.
Sadie does some soul searching about who she is and who she wants to be. She can’t live her life like this. Not any more. One fateful night will help her see how much things have to change.
She’s determined to no longer allow the AE to rule her life. She will be strong, stand up for Ian and love who she wants in Hayden. Determined and invigorated, Sadie goes to school feeling hopeful for the first time in forever.
But, the unthinkable happens.
Shooters attack dozens of students before the two eventually take their own lives, leaving the school a decimated shadow of what it once was.
Suddenly who lives where, wears what or loves whom seems like the least of Lexington Parish’s problems as everyone and everything changes forever in the after.
IN THE AFTER by Elisa Dane is a hard-hitting and heart-warming story of tragedy, love, loss and redemption. It is recommended for readers 14+.
“No! Stop it! Don’t hurt her. Mom! Mommy!”
I thrashed awake, my throat on fire, my skin cold and soaked with sweat along with my pajamas and sheets. That damn, fucking night. That final image of my mom bleeding out across our hardwood floor before the monster tied me up and locked me in the closet—it wouldn’t disappear. Burned into every deep, dark crevice of my mind, it haunted me daily, and replayed itself on an endless loop every night while I slept.
The three night lights dousing my room with a soft, warm glow, failed to provide the sense of safety and comfort they normally did and I hugged my blanket to my chest in a vain attempt to chase the chill away. My room wasn’t cold. The chill lay deep inside me in the place the darkness had taken up residence. Dying of thirst, I reached for the glass of water sitting on my nightstand.
My body seized, my arms flew up with a scream, and water rained down over everything within a five-foot radius as the glass tumbled through the air. It shattered upon impact with the wood floor. Mocha went crazy. The fur at the nape of her neck standing on end as she paced back and forth at the end of my bed, growling and barking.
Barely able to control my limbs they were shaking so badly, I floundered around for my cell phone, which had gotten lost somewhere between my sheets.
“Sadie! Let me in.” The window shook each time the attacker rammed his fist against the glass and panic spiked, a high-pitched wail blowing past my lips as I ripped apart my bedding.
I found my phone buried beneath the blanket near my feet. Dizzy and hyperventilating, I fumbled with it, repeatedly stabbing the touchscreen in a vain attempt to unlock the damn thing.
“Come on! Come on, you stupid thing.” My heart felt like it was in my throat and my chest felt like it was going to explode any minute.
“Ginger! It’s me, Hayden.”
It felt like I’d been trapped under water and was finally able to surface and take a deep breath. The thick haze of fear slowly dissipated, the fog inside my head clearing enough for me to recognize his voice. “H-Hayden?”
Hot tears trickled down my cheeks as I stumbled out of bed and made my way over to my window. I grappled with the extra locks my dad had installed when we first moved in, unable to contain the loud sob that blew past my lips when the window finally slid open.
Hayden was in my room with his arms around me before I had a chance to draw breath. “I heard you screaming and I got scared.” His body stiffened and he pulled away, his gaze scanning the room. “Did you hear something? Is that why you were screaming?” He took a step toward my bedroom door, stopping when I caught his wrist.
“It’s okay, Hayden. No one’s here. I had a nightmare.”
He stared down at me with narrowed eyes, then closed the gap between us, drawing me into his arms again. His arms felt warm and strong, the space at the center of his chest where I laid my head as though it was made for me and me alone. As if on autopilot, his hand found its favorite spot on the side of my neck, his touch both soothing and electric as he peered down at me with concern. “Nightmare? You were screaming like someone was trying to murder you.”
I flinched.
His eyes grew wide for a millisecond, realization and understanding warring for dominance behind his eyes. Thankfully, the gentleness I craved in his deep blues returned as quickly as it had left. He swept me off my feet without warning and carefully placed me on my bed, sliding between the sheets right along beside me. I rolled onto my side, my body shuddering in relief when he pulled me against him and wrapped his arm around me. “Sleep, princess. You’re safe. I won’t let anyone hurt you.”
Safe. It was such a small word with such a big meaning. Lives either flourished or fell apart in search of it. I’d known the warmth of safety. Taken it for granted. Wasted the warmth and comfort that came with it like a spoiled child. I also knew the festering terror that came with the absence of safety. I walked in its darkness. Choked and smothered beneath it nightly. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever believe I would truly feel safe again. But, for reasons I couldn’t explain, that’s exactly how I felt in Hayden’s arms. Completely safe.
And so very tired. Too tired to care about my dad’s warning about talking to Hayden and letting him in the house. My lids grew heavy and I was asleep within moments.

Author Bio:
ELISA DANE is a self-proclaimed book junkie. A lover of handbags, chocolate, and reality television, she's a proud mother to three All- Star cheerleaders. Writing is her absolute passion, and it's her mission to create stories that will not only take you on a romantic journey that will warm your heart, but help you find a new respect and interest in the sport of All-Star cheerleading.
Elisa is no stranger to the publishing world. She writes steamy paranormal romance under her real name, Lisa Sanchez. Her adult works include the Hanford Park series (Eve Of Samhain, Pleasures Untold, and Faythe Reclaimed), Obsessed (an erotic suspense), and a paranormal novella, Cursing Athena. Elisa lives in Northern California with her husband, three daughters, and a feisty Chihuahua who stubbornly believes she's human.

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