Black Five by J. Lynn Bailey Blog Tour! (And Giveaway!)

Just got a copy of Black Five by J. Lynn Bailey, and it's now on my TBR list! It looks really spooky and I can't wait to read it. Here's more on it beneath the link!

Ghostwriting Revealed!

So, the big Ghostwriting Secret Project? It's the Fredia Gibbs Story: Meet the Most Dangerous Woman in the World, and I've worked on it!

See that? It's my name at the bottom! I am so excited about this project, I'm now on Amazon! This is a big day for me, and I really hope you want to read it on ebook when it comes out on June 30th. It's currently available for preorder!

I also got a new trilogy offer to ghostwrite some Regency Romances. I feel like I'm growing as a writer, and it's going to help me towards publishing my own first book and starting a career in writing! This is wonderful news, since I am losing my day job to outsourcing on June 30th. I still have my second job, and I have my ghostwriting and my novels I'm working on.

This has been a scary time, but an exciting one as well. I feel like I'm being pushed to grow and change. It's terrifying, but cool. I really hope this is a transition to a lot of success in my life as a writer, so wish me luck on this endeavor!

Rough Choices Being for the Best I Can Be

While writing Home, it felt like I was just writing something a muse was whispering my ear. It didn't feel 100% like my own story, but it is.
When I finally found a press that would publish me, I was elated. At the time, I had no professionally published credits to my name. I had no real experience. I was still learning, as one ought to do in writing.
Recently, I sent a new draft in with a little expansion of the story, and I waited, and a week and half later, he responded to me with an email telling me I was good writer and storyteller, but he wanted to know if I just wanted to get this story out with a lovely surface-edit or did I want to make it a great story with a difficult, harsh edit?
As someone who's been writing most of my life (since age nine) and suffers from debilitating perfectionism, I want nothing more to be a great writer. I know that my book is going to down in the Library of Congress forever and it would forever be a mark of what kind of person I was and what I believed in.

So, I chose the tougher route. It meant it would take longer to edit, and it would take longer to polish. Yeah, it stinks that I have to wait for my first novel to come out. But, I've been writing for twenty-seven years, a few more months aren't going to kill me. I know better than to write for the money, which would have pushed me into the soft edit. Will there be mistakes in the manuscript? Maybe. Will there be things I regret later about the book? Maybe. But I don't want to go ahead and rush-publish without getting the most of those taken care of as possible.
Personally, I hate it when I read books that start out a series so wonderfully, and then they go to seed later on.  Most of the time, this is because authors start on Level 2 or Level 3 editing, which is you either do the edits you signed the contract for, or you don't get published and you have to give back any advance money. But after a few hit books, some authors get put on Level 1 editing, which is basically, "Hey, you're a cash cow, we just want you to get the book out under OUR publishing house because we know your name will make money. You don't have to listen to the editors, but we'll give you an edit anyway." It basically when publishers get nervous that their hit writers will run to another press that offers more money (oh, I wish I got that!).
I don't know if my writing career is going to take off. I don't know if I'll be a hit writer. I learned the hard way: don't write for the money. This industry is absolutely difficult to succeed in, just as difficult as the acting or the music industry (both of which, I've had a taste of). You're lucky if you make super-loyal fans (and I hope one day I can say that). I personally fear that I'd be selling out (if by luck, I had some success and got on Level 1 editing) if I said, "Hey, no big deal, I have the option to not to accept this edit, or that one, or THAT one!" and put out something less than my best.
I fear that ego. I don't ever want that ego. Please slap me if I ever brag about taking the easy way out instead of the hard way.
So, Home might be out in the fall or winter of 2016. Maybe in early 2017. But I damn sure am going to try to present my best for all of you.

I'm still Sad

I'm devastated at the largest gun massacre in the history by a single shooter at the Pulse Night Club in Orlando. There was a massacre in Port Arthur, Australia in 1996, which prompted the Australian government to ban semi-automatic assault weapons... and it worked. It was the largest single-gun shooting massacre in World history... until Saturday night.

But, today's blog is not about a political issue like gun control.

No, it's more about the lives lost and affected by this senseless tragedy and the killer who did it.
The press is making him out to be a radical Muslim, who had a history of domestic violence and severe homophobia. He found a lot of emotional power in Radical Islam with his problems which he should have been getting mental help for. I know he wasn't considered a "real" Muslim, according to Simone Samba, who said this:

Because MSM has no idea it's Ramadan right now, let me just make it clear - if this man in Orlando was truly a practicing Muslim the very very very last thing he would do during Ramadan is murder. Not to mention Islam forbids violence and taking the life of another. (Y'all were just talking about Ali last week)
This man was a US citizen raised in the US. He is an American homophobic terrorist. This society in America needs to stop passing the buck and own it's diseases.

A lot of my friends get angry when it's brought up that the mental health care system failed him. I'm truly considering going back to school to get my Master's in Marriage and Family Therapy... because I want to help people with the same problems I've had. I want to make that kind of difference.

But all I can think about right now is the 103 families that have been affected. 50 people are dead, 53 are in the hospital. No, they didn't deserve it. Gay clubs exist as a sanctuary where LGBT people are free to treat the person they love like everyone else can in public. I'm P-FLAG, so I'm so weirdly thankful that it didn't happen in Nashville where my relatives could have easily been the victims, although my gay family has been threatened multiple times, one of which was at work in a Cracker Barrell that he was managing. He should be safe at work. But, unfortunately, he's not. I've been to gay night clubs, and they are hella fun, and feel a lot safer to me than regular night clubs... until now. I know that this is pretty upsetting for the LGBT community, and the PRIDE festival in Nashville is happening the weekend of the 25th, the Pulse Night Club shooting's memory will be a huge part of the event. I think the shootings were done intentionally around PRIDE weeks, to scare the LGBT population back into the closet. The shooter's actions are disgusting and reprehensible. No, I don't think the LGBT community deserved this. Nobody does.

So, this means I'm going to PRIDE on the 25th, to make friends, and to show that I'm an ally. I proudly support the LGBT community. And let me warn you, when it comes to gun control, the "sleeping giant" of American activism has been awoken. The Gay Community is quite a force to be reckoned with, and Congress, if they're wise, is going to need to expect a display of gun control from the LGBT-Q, the P-FLAG, and the community of people who support common sense gun laws.

Shadow by Christi J. Whitney Blog Tour and Giveaway! (THE ROMANY OUTCASTS #2)

Hey guys! I don't normally do book tours for the second book in a series if I haven't already done the first, but this one looked great and I am so excited to share it with y'all! This series has Secretive Gypsies, Romance, and Magic-- and these are a few of my favorite things! I am so excited about this one and I hope you are, too!

Review of The Trouble With Rain Feature Film

The Trouble With Rain
Rule 14 Pictures
Director: Mike Parker
Screenwriter: Nathan D. Owen
2016
Run Time: 1:31

The Trouble With Rain is a film that covers different paths two relationships take between four friends: three different plotlines for the two couples, essentially the Butterfly Effect. When do you stay the storm, or decide to call it quits? Yet every action has a consequence.

You can't really have it all... and that's okay!

I recently have been reading Philippa Gregory's The White Queen in my spare time and I caught the first episode on Starz from the BBC. Even though I know it's not that historically accurate, I'm enjoying it a lot. It's about Elizabeth Woodville, the widow who married King Edward IV of the Lancastrian line in secret during England's War of the Roses. Ms. Gregory has done an amazing job with the love story, the chemistry, the family, and the world-building. One reason I mention the world-building is at one point in the beginning, the Widow Elizabeth Grey (she was called that after her first marriage to a Knight named John Grey of Groby who died in battle against Edward IV's claim for the throne against Henry of York) was living with her mother, a French Aristocrat named Jacquetta of Luxembourg. Jacquetta had married a York supporter in England, but she did something that seemed like witchcraft for her daughter after meeting the York King of England in passing, Elizabeth asking for her lands back for her son's sake. Jacquetta had three little metal objects tied to threads around a tree by the river, the contents in the water, and brought her daughter Elizabeth over, telling her to pick a line. Elizabeth chose one, and her mother cut the others. Elizabeth asked her mother "what was on the ends of those threads?" her mother tells her: "choices you will never make, children you will never have." etc.

Jacquetta and Elizabeth in the BBC's The White Queen

The historical story of Elizabeth Woodville is that she married King Edward IV in secret and it was a scandal when Edward announced his marriage to her to his royal court. So, I've been drawn in, even if there's no historical proof of Jacquetta's magical game of MASH for her daughter. You'll have to read the book or watch the show to find out what was on the end of that thread that Elizabeth pulled out of the river.

And then, yesterday, a friend from high school messaged me on Facebook, saying, "You're always going to such interesting things!" He went on to say how boring his life was, making it sound like he was a little jealous of my life (not that I'm bragging here). Me? Interesting?

the Japanese Garden at the Hillwood House Museum in Washington, DC

I was surprised. For years, I always thought everyone else had a better, more fun social life than me and that was because I was not a likeable, loveable person that people wanted to be around. If I were a better person, people would take me on adventures and to night clubs and concerts and events, I berated myself. These days, I am not making much money, I'm struggling to pay my mortgage and bills (ha, what's new!), and I don't just work 40 hours a week to support myself, it's usually like 60-70. It wasn't until I stopped focusing so much on what other people wanted for me and expected of me, and started doing things I loved, it opened doors for me to do these "interesting" things on Facebook, like going to shows and cabarets and taking dance classes in my thirties. Most of my friends in their thirties have kids and they have to parent them first. And Jacquetta's words (from the show) rang in my ears and struck a chord with me. And I realized that the grass is always greener on the other side.

from the gardens at Hillwood House in Washington, DC

Yeah, I may not have a husband and a family, but that affords me to buy stupid things and go to things like Captain America: Civil War (which I did last night with my goddaughters at the IMAX theatre, and it was amazing!). I don't have to answer to anybody but myself and I get to put myself first. Sure, I may not make very much and I'm struggling to pay the bills, but I do get to live a very selfish life, and at times, I feel fulfilled. And I know that my friends who have children are being fulfilled by raising them, even if they can't go out to a burlesque show on a whim or drop into a dance class after work. And I realized, I don't have it all, but are we really supposed to?

Team Cap! Oh boy, it was an emotional and political roller coaster of a movie!

It got me thinking: society pushes us to settle down and get married/have kids by a certain age, to buy a house, to have a full-time career that's stable, be thin and in control of our bodies, healthy, and have a huge savings account/nest egg and 401K. But I struggle with those things. I've been told I'm getting too old to have children, although I just turned 36. It's been a fear of mine that I'm not going to meet my husband until it's too late to have children, but then I realized, it's God's timing, not mine. My reproductive health and my choice of when to have children is between me, my child's father, and my doctor, I don't have to get permission from anybody else who has no bearing on my life. And some of my cousins have had healthy children in their 40s. But, we get so ashamed and hide these aspects of our lives if we haven't achieved them. Yet, so few people do in this generation. Why are we so ashamed of not having the things that God hasn't brought into our lives yet? Maybe there are lessons to be learned that God's trying to teach us, and it will take a lot of humility to get it. And how much hubris is it to claim that we know better than God? No, we're not supposed to "have it all." It's rare if you do, and if you do have everything you ever wanted, I'm excited for you and cheering you on. But if God is holding back on bringing your spouse into your life and giving you a family, maybe there's a lesson He's trying to teach you. And I started thinking about "destination happiness": when we think, "I'll be happy the day I lose 10, 15, 50, 100 pounds" or "I'll be happy when I've got the perfect job" or "I'll be happy when I've met the man of my dreams." Let me explain something incredibly important to you: we aren't promised tomorrow. I know it's not easy, but do your best to find happiness TODAY. I'm not claiming happiness is easy, but it's completely worth the fight. You don't know what tomorrow is going to bring, and it very well could be something worse. I'd rather die fighting to be happy over living to please other people while being absolutely miserable. So fight to find happiness right now and don't wait on it, and don't get angry with yourself because you haven't achieved a lot of things that maybe you weren't ready for or didn't care too much about in the first place.

I know this is corny, but: if you want to make God laugh, just tell Him your plans.